MLM and Infertility

"I know you can't get pregnant, but let me tell you about this SUPERMAGIC powder that got my cousin's sister-law's friend from nursery school pregnant! Want a sample?" 

"Have you tried essential oils? The problem is all those chemicals in the drugs! Can I schedule you for a consult?"

"I think you need to lose weight! Have you tried BeachBody/Shakeology/Magic Weight Loss item? "

Sigh . . .

If I had a penny for every person who has tried to sell me something, I probably wouldn't need to be employed. Log on to Facebook and you get inundated with MLM (multi level marketing) sales of whatever the newest and latest product is. Jamberry, LuLaRoe, Beachbody - I know someone has tried to sell at least one of those to you.

I have no problem with people wanting to make money or enjoy a product. I don't begrudge them that. In the past, I've shrugged it off, removed myself from groups, declined to host parties.

Until I "came out" as infertile. I though maybe that knowledge would discourage some of them. But, in actuality, it's given them ammunition.



The Best of Intentions

Look, I get that people (generally) have good intentions. I want to believe that my friends, family, acquaintances look at me and wish that they could do something to help me and that they don't just see a desperate woman who will try anything and pay anything to conceive a child and think that they can cash in on that.
But to be frank, that's how it feels sometimes. Lately, I feel like I'm being preyed on and like there's a neon sign on my forehead that says OPPORTUNITY.

The Guilt of Not Doing ENOUGH

After every failed IUI, oral cycle, injection cycle, hybrid cycle, I was wracked with guilt.

"What did I do wrong?"
"What could I have done differently?"
"I should have tried . . . "

I don't need another reason to berate myself. I don't need another person chiding me.

I have a folder that weighs at least a pound from the clinic stating everything I CAN'T do and SHOULD be doing. It's a heavy burden and I feel like a failure already when I don't do it precisely perfectly.

Infertility is such a complex disease. So many intricate things need to fall into place at the exact time. We can't control it.

Don't add to my guilt.

Acceptance

Accepting my infertility diagnosis was a struggle in itself. To willingly admit that there's something wrong with you and that you may never be able to conceive without help or at all leaves an indelible mark on you. I will never feel the same about myself.

Don't dangle a miracle in front of me. You can't get me pregnant. Only the doctor can do that. It's cruel to offer someone hope when you can't guarantee them anything. Infertility isn't just someone who is overweight or needs help balancing their hormones. It's not something that can be overcome that easily.

Danger

It seems commonsense, but infertility treatment requires an obscene amount of medication and drugs and tests. Your body is going through enough trauma. Don't add in something else that you have NO idea how it may impact what you're already taking.

It does not matter how "natural" it is.

Medications can have serious and severe reactions with something as simple as an antacid. That's why only doctors can prescribe them.

Don't jeopardize your treatment - many clinics will actually refuse to treat you if you take certain supplements.

Ears and Arms, not MLM 

You can offer me something so much better (and healthier! and cheaper!) than an MLM product. Your arms and your ears.

Offer an infertile woman a hug and your time to hear her. That is the best thing you can give her.

Remember:

• Never be afraid to say NO. (Make it no thank you if that helps. But remember you're not the one being rude.)
• Infertility is a disease. You know who is qualified to treat a disease? DOCTORS. Would you let a friend prescribe you medication? Or buy infertility drugs off the street? Of course not! If your name doesn't end with M.D, or D.O, your advice is meaningless to me. 
• It's not your job to support someone else's small business ventures. Don't be guilted. That goes for fertile and non-fertile alike.